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My motivation

Why I accompany people through grief

People matter deeply to me. Within my own family I have lost many beloved people — and in my circle of friends and in my church community too, I have had to let go of dear, precious brothers and sisters in faith whom I had personally cared for and accompanied. I have learned that this pain does not simply pass. It stays, often for years. With some farewells it is still there almost twenty years on.

More than twenty years ago I lost a child of my own. A loss like that runs deep. It changes us and shapes who we are.

"No one should be left alone with their grief."

Out of this experience a wish has grown. For those left behind, life goes on — on earth the loss changes nothing more, yet within the person it changes everything. That is precisely why companionship is so valuable: for adults as much as for children and their parents.

For me, this is about lived compassion for one's neighbour — about being at someone's side when the heaviest burden has to be carried.

Grief companionship for parents who have lost their child

There is no loss that hurts more deeply than that of one's own child. It calls into question everything we thought we knew about the order of life — and it compares to nothing else we experience in grief.

I know how this pain feels — I too have lost a child. Back then, there was no grief companionship for my wife and me, no one to walk with us through that time. We suffered for years, each in our own way, and often entirely alone with what was going on inside us.

It is precisely out of this experience that my wish grew: no parent should be left alone with this grief. No one should have to endure what we had to endure back then, without someone there to listen, to hold, and to accompany.

If you would like to learn more about my own path: in episode 2 of my podcast “A Space for Grief” I speak more openly about that time and about how faith and grief came together for me.

In our conversations there is room for everything that is within you — for anger, for feelings of guilt that are often unfounded but there nonetheless, for the silence that sometimes says more than words. I also have an open ear for your relationship, for parents rarely grieve in the same rhythm, and that can be an added burden, even though both carry the same pain.

For a child's farewell, if you wish, I can take on everything from a single hand: give the funeral address, arrange and conduct the burial and — as an ordained priest — hold a memorial service for your child. Religious or secular, exactly as suits your child and you. So that in this hardest time you need not organise or carry anything alone.

Because this topic deserves its own space, a dedicated page is taking shape: Star Children – Companionship for Parents. There you'll find more about my companionship and about the additional qualification I am currently working towards specifically for this topic.

There is no deadline for this grief. It remains a part of you — and it may. If you would like companionship on this path, I am here for you.

Grief companionship for children and teenagers who have lost a parent

When a young person loses their mum or dad, their world breaks at a place that should really stay safe forever. Children do not grieve like adults — not in one long, continuous stream, but in waves: deeply sad one moment, playing again the next. This is not a sign of coldness, but the way young souls are able to carry something so vast at all.

Teenagers, too, grieve in their own way — often more quietly, sometimes behind withdrawal, anger, or the wish to appear “strong” so as not to burden others even more. At an age when they are already searching for their own path, the loss of a parent can shake them especially deeply. I accompany children and teenagers alike, gently and in their own language: through conversation, but also through pictures, stories, music and memories. What matters to me is that a young person may feel: You are not to blame, you are safe, you are loved — and you may ask anything and feel anything.

Just as important is accompanying the surviving parent or family. When you are grieving your partner yourself and at the same time have to carry a child or teenager through their grief, you quickly reach your own limits. You do not have to manage this alone. I help you to find the right words in an age-appropriate way, to shape rituals and to give your child support — without having to hide your own grief.

As an ordained priest, I can also gently take up the big questions — about death, about heaven, about why — entirely without pressure and open to whatever your family believes.

And if it becomes clear that a young person needs more than companionship can provide, I name it openly and help you find professional support.

If you would like companionship for your child, your teenager or your family, I am here for you.